BRIAN: Yes. Consider the lilies...
ELSIE: Consider the lilies?
BRIAN: Uh, well, the birds, then.
EDDIE: What birds?
BRIAN: Any birds.
BRIAN: Well, have they got jobs?
BRIAN: The birds.
EDDIE: Have the birds got jobs?!
FRANK: What's the matter with him?
ARTHUR: He says the birds are scrounging.
BRIAN: Oh, uhh, no, the point is the birds. They do all right. Don't they?
FRANK: Well, good luck to 'em.
EDDIE: Yeah. They're very pretty.
BRIAN: Okay, and you're much more important than they are, right? So, what are you worrying about? There you are. See?
EDDIE: I'm worrying about what you have got against birds.
BRIAN: I haven't got anything against the birds. Consider the lilies.
ARTHUR: He's having a go at the flowers now.
EDDIE: Oh, give the flowers a chance.
BRIAN: Ohh. Look. There was this man, and he had two servants.
ARTHUR: What were they called?
BRIAN: I don't know. And he gave them some talents.
EDDIE: You don't know?!
BRIAN: Well, it doesn't matter!
ARTHUR: He doesn't know what they were called!
BRIAN: Oh, they were called 'Simon' and 'Adrian'. Now--
ARTHUR: Oh! You said you didn't know!
BRIAN: It really doesn't matter. The point is there were these two servants--
ARTHUR: He's making it up as he goes along.
BRIAN: No, I'm not! ...And he gave them some ta-- Wait a minute. Were there three?
EDDIE: Oh, he's terrible!
ARTHUR: He's terrible.
If you object to what you read, please make sure that what you read is actually what is said.
And I think there's something in that for all of us.
Meanwhile, the August Issue of eFiction magazine is available now. I have always enjoyed reading the downloadable pdf at my leisure, but it is now necessary to have a twitter account in order to access the free pdf. The magazine is still free to read online, however. It is also available to read on kindle etc.
For writers, the editorial staff is constantly on the lookout for new names and faces in the independent fiction world, so do it – bite the bullet – go along and submit that story you’ve been sweating over. You might find an outlet, and you might even find an entire community anxious to welcome you. Log in and join the forum. What can you lose?
This month the offerings are:
The Birthday Party - Alan Jankowski
The Hit - Bob Kalkreuter
Another Twenty Five Minutes - Kevin Fraleigh
Storks Have Really Big Bills - AJ Iris
Perfect Disguise -Mary O’Neil
Two’s A Crowd - Helen Seymour
Special Delivery - Lia Fairchild
The Happiest Man in Washington - Joe Flood
There is poetry from Edward Rodosek - Three Dark Poems and Tonya R Moore’s brilliant serial Blood Binds continues.
As always, editor Essie Holton has reviews of independent fiction:
Douchebag Roulette by Marie Simas
The Cambridge List by Robert Clear
Tales of Aradia: The Last Witch by LA Jones
Past issues are also available.
Also this week I discovered, thanks to Dan Holloway and the gruesome facebook evil necessity, another wondrous work. Words With Jam, a magazine for writers and readers who like words that stick. This was my first read and I ate up every last crumb and licked my fingers. [Sure, that’s a despicable metaphor but I’m not getting paid for this so I can be as slack as I like.]
I am a fan straight off the bat. It’s got a bit of everything, so I’ll just cut and paste the contents to give you an idea.
Tea and Cake with JK Rowling - an exclusive interview
Imagination Unconfined - Elspeth Cooper on fantasy writing
Viral Aftermath – Big Al talks about his blog
Andrew Ramsay on the Comic Book Oscars
Zimmerframe Blues - procrastinating with Perry Iles
Lit-Thick by Danny Gillan
Painfully obvious he had crossed the line by Matt Shaw
60 Second Interviews with Judy Blume and Joseph O’Connor
What Judy Means To Me
How I Didn’t Get a Book Deal by Lorraine Mace
Not the Oxford Literary Festival by Dan Holloway and Catriona Troth
Gillian Hamer’s Book v Film - Where the Wild Things Are
Strap Lines and Strap Marks - publishing your ebook by Derek Duggan
Dear Ed - Letters of the satirical variety
Lone Author at the London Book Fair - Catriona Troth
Nurturing the Readers (and Writers) of Tomorrow by Catriona Troth
Sending Books Via Pelican Post
The Rumour Mill - sorting the bags of truth from the bags of shite
Horoscopes - by Shameless Charlatan Druid Keith
Quite Small Stories
The Quiet Coach - by Stephanie Barton
Are You Having a Laugh?
First Page Competition Winner Announcement
Flash 500 First Quarter 2011 Winner
The Agent’s View with Andrew Lownie and Julia Churchill
Beginnings with Sarah Bower - the first of ten creative writing exercises
Writing Children’s Fiction - not for the faint hearted by Anne Stormont
You Have Two Minutes Starting Now - by Dan Holloway
Question Corner - Lorraine Mace answers your questions on writing
What We Think of Some Books
You can subscribe digitally for free, or even buy your own sweet, sweet paper subscription. Details here.
Submissions here, and back issues, which I will be working my way through, right here.
May all your days be sunlit and all your nights have stars. That way you won’t get them mixed up.